it's the 18th of the month again...exactly four months have passed...nevertheless, i realised how much i miss him still...suddenly, i missed the ppl deep down in my heart...my heart is being so not obedient...i really nothing, feels nothing bout it ady...my life have become very peaceful and calm but something happened today that proved to me that his position in my heart still remains...and there comes the emotional girl again...how i wished you never send me that msg...how i wish you never tell me those nunsense...i dont und why ppl tend to think the other way round...i oli take u as my kor kor all this while and i never do or giving u any hints that i have feelings to you..you ady noe very clear who is in my heart...you noe that it is impossible that i will accept anyone though i know the fact very clear that me n him will never be together...yet why do u want to say that to make me think of the ppl more....im really trying my best to forget him...but u made me double confirm that truth is, i still very very love him...now i und that if a guy treated a girl so good, it means they are having some intention behind and that's what make me feel so sick bout them...girls and guys are really so hard to remain as friends...i wished u could just keep it to yourself and dont tell me anything...u made me think of him more today...u made me assured myself that my heart still has him...u noe that i dont want to step into this kind of matter anymore...i just want to be have a SINGLE but UNAVAILABLE status...yet, u still told me some nunsense...u made me dont know how to face u and reply all your msg-es...so, if i have hurt you, i really cant do anything...u want to say im being stubborn or watever i dont care coz you know what my answer will be no matter what...n i really dunoe how to tok to u d...i know u might not read this post..if u read it, den hope u can und...i really dont wish to hurt anyone..now im getting a phobia in going out with guys...i can talk and go out with you like usual as a friend but please dont think more than that...my heart cant fit anyone d now but one...really do hope u can und...otherwise, all of us will be very awkward...
right now, my heart cries...i really very very miss him...i miss those days before v started..i miss the moments that we were together...those were my true happiness for the year after a bad incident that took place in January...well, i will not do anything that harm myself...all that is happening now is that he is still conquering my heart and i will leave it in...i will live my life to the fullest...enjoying my holidays like what Im doing currently by working, going out with friends, hanging out with my relatives..it is a good fun...my life now turns into a very peaceful one and i dont wish to have any change anymore for now...i dont know what will happen in the future but thats what i want for now...:)
No comments:
Post a Comment