mY dAdDy's deParture

a close friend of mine has finally left m'sia, stepping his feet in the land of Germany...i were happy for him when i got the news that he will be flying there as this indicated he can pursue his study overseas...i knew he always wanted to leave this country and explore the foreign lands...so here came his chance...but at the same time, i felt sad over his departure as it seemed that i have lost a good friend for 5 years...

i began to ponder...when he was in malaysia, we hardly have the time to meet up..when he finds me out, i did not have the time and vice versa...thinking back, i felt so bad..im such a bad bad friend....2009 christmas break shud be the time when i can hang out with him in Taiping but i did not know why i were so busy...i couldnt spend the time chatting with him...lost updates about him...he did not even tell me that he was leaving 2day (8 Jan 2010)...i knew it through Sushan...teruk betul...and to be honest, i nearly cried when i saw her msg but luckily the tears were just welled up in my eyes...

Sushan and me planned a surprise for him in KLIA...this is the first time im sending a friend off in the airport...this shows how important this friend is to me...im such a lazy girl to travel around with public transport, yet because of him, im so willing to break my laziness for once and travel to KLIA with Sushan...if for other normal friends, i doubt i would be so kind to do so..i noe im being such a mean one...so, YOU see how important are YOU in my heart...hahahha...fortunately, a friend of mine offered to give me a lift..im always so lucky i know..really thanz him alot...nevertheless, i felt so guilty for making him to wait for us for more than 3 hours in the car...im just so sorry...din really noe it will take that long...

speaking of the surprise, i have spoilt Sushan's plan...her initial plan was to make him cry but mission was not very successfully completed...he did feel shocked but he kinda expected of our arrival...due to wat???...well, it was due to my call and msg-es...hhahahaz...im worried that he will leave the check-in point without us knowing it...then, it would be a waste of effort to be there...moreover, he took so long to reach KLIA when most students have reached the airport...so, i texted him to ask for his location lorr...while waiting, Sushan and me came out with this stupid idea...hahahaz..only both of us know what was the stupid idea...hahahha...den due to boredom, v two camwhored in the airport but only few pictures were taken...wanted to wait for him and captured more and more pictures..however,due to his late-ness, our idea cannot be achieved...sad...so little memories of us...

a final note to this post: hope you will like the farewell present we gave you...dont ever forget both of us..otherwise, we will come after you...hehehhez...you will be missed deeply by us..n thanz for being a very very great friend to me for almost 4 years...im really lucky to have you...may u have a great time in Germany...do take care...with lotz of hugz and kisses from your daughter...daddy, I love you...

to those who are curious who is the friend...well, let me introduce...his name is TEH CHEE WEI, my daddy for almost 2 years...he very teruk...dumped all his responsibilities as a daddy and flew off to Germany...bad bad..hahhaz..jk jk...

well, i know this might sound too late yet i still want to wish you guys a very very Happy New Year 2010...hope that all of u have a great celebration on it...as for me, i spent my countdown working night shift in TGV...sound pathetic,aint??it was actually a NOT NOT NOT as i found it quite interesting...counting down with colleagues, having fun and crapping with them...moreover, all my besties were in hometown...wished they were here to celebrate but it did not appear that way...thus, i decided to work at night...thank GOD, it was a pleasant countdown eventhough it was in the absence of the fireworks..=P

2010 is finally here, leaving the year 2009 behind...2009 was indeed a bad bad year for me in terms of studies, relationships, friendships and family...facing a lag and drop in studies, two failed relationships in a year, few of my close friends ignored me without me knowing any reason, and ......( i will silent regarding the last one)....2008 was a year of tears for me but there were still many sweet memories and happenings that support me to face the tough road... 2009 was a year of tears too, but there was an add on of disappointment, depression, hurt, tired, anger-ness, lost-ness...the road was filled with many thorn bushes..it pained me each time i walked through...wonder when only can i finish the road...

before 2010, i have made a list of resolutions which include the bla bla bla n bla...thinking back, they were merely a list...they were not actionable if i did not enforce them...i really wish i could realise them but once again, im just too too toooooooooo stupid...lying lying n lying to myself...all the lies were just to comfort myself...for a month plus, i thought im healed...till recently, i heard a piece of news or perhaps i shud say, i got to know this by chance which triggered my emo button...tears began to roll down again...my mind was occupied with all the memories with him again and all the hurtful words and things he had done...to be frank, i really have less feelings towards him d..maybe it was only less than 10%...but why do i still feel pain and hurt when i knew that news??i really wonder...why why why why why???is it because i felt the reasons u gave me were not true???is it because i felt cheated???is it because im still thinking that you were taking me as a substitute last time??is it because im a selfish girl???is it so??

sometimes, i have been thinking, if all the WHYs can be answered, how nice life would be...why my problems cant be like the Mathematic questions whereby they have all the answers and solutions??i know im being a stubborn and stupid one....

though im emo-ing over it, there was a good side of me being in the year 2010...at least, i knew myself wont be hurt by any guys anymore this year...im closing the door and not letting anyone in...i know some of u all are treating me very very good but im just so sorry....im not a good girl as you all perceived...i have too many weaknesses in me...just divert your love to other more worthwhile girls...it was a real phobia for me to be hurt by two guys at the start of each sem in 2009...when i refreshed back, i wonder is it a curse??

i duno when only i will get over it...5 months plus have gone and the 6th month is on its way d..but i still dont see myself forgetting anything...however, one thing for sure is that i will move on...n im really appreciating all my friends who have been by my side all this while esp VIjay, Sushan, Sowann, Alice, n currently my daddy and god-daddy...really lucky to have you all...love you guys....with lots of hugs and kisses...lol..:)