Monday, November 23, 2009

2012

finally, i got to watch 2012 at Cathay Cineplex...i didnt yearn to watch this movie initially..it was my sis who told me that it's a very nice movie since my study break...n hence, i began to get addicted to it slowly...plus vijay n other friends told me the same thing too...at 1st, thought of watching it together with Vijay, SS n a few others who are available...too bad, all seemed to be tied up with their very own schedules...as such, 2day oli i got to watch it with my sis and another friend n end up kena 'cha' by Jo Lynn...it's alright..i will win you for the Newmoon...will watch it on the very first day itself...hahaha

well, this movie i duno why i have so much to critise on...i felt the story line was very illogical...what my uncle said was true...what is so big deal if 2012 really happens...making a big fuss over the space ships and those high tech tingys to keep the humans safe...n bear in mind, those ships were not for ALL humans...oli the so called 'elite' ppl are allowed to board in...govt ppl are always belonged to their own world...by appearance, they were acting kind, considerate towards mankind welfare..but when a disaster takes place, where are they???there was this one scene that made me felt so funny...spending 1billion Euro per seat just to harbour its own life by ignoring others..wow..1 billion Euro for a life...but in the end, his life was still taken away by God...

i really admired Adrian Helmsley's spirit in fighting for the chance of survival for millions of ppl who were struggling to seek help from the govt...it was really devastating to see the earthquakes and tsunami eating up billions n billions of lives...though the movie was not logic, tears still rolled down my cheeks when i saw all the innocent lives were taken away...n i learnt a lesson from the movie...care for the person that you wish to care 2day and not tomorrow for you will never noe what will happen tomorow...seek for forgiveness from the loved ones 2day instead of waiting for regrets...confess all the feelings that have been hidden in the heart to the one you love 2day and not leaving it for the right time...in this world, there's no such thing as right time...when you think it's the right time, it will be too late...

from the movie, i have come out with a few of my own theories...the preceeding was one of them..another was ' when you say it's for my own good, that's really not for my own good'...this was reformulated from jackson curtis' phrase 'when they say you dont have to worry, that's when you have to run'...you always say it's for my own good so that i will stop bugging you to tell me the reasons...but how you noe that's for my own good??u sked i will fall even deeper, u sked i will not be able to take it..u worried that i will collapse if i knew the real truth...u worried this n that asking me dont think so much...but i dont think that way...truth might hurt me but at least it will make my heart dies for once n all...

speaking whether 2012 will really be realised...i doubt it..cause, it will just be too soon...and if it really happens, then Mother Earth will decide itself who and which to survive on earth...we cannot do much besides praying hard n changing attitudes...

after movie, i really syiok sendiri..really damn camwhore lately...n it simply makes me feel happier though the pictures were very very not nice..but i did not take much pictures le..so sad...hahahz..if Chin was there, definitely i will take alot alot d wan as the decorations were very scenic...=)
i cant upload pictures today...all the pics were in my Sis fon and my hp bluetooth cant be used and she forgot to bring her phone's cable..so photoes upload have to be delayed!!!

2mrw is another fun day for me..yesterday so emo, tis week mus enjoy to the fullest...gona go to aunty hous to swim..weeeeheee..hopefully, the rain wont pour 2mrw...God Bless pls...

Sunday, November 22, 2009

eMo

the emo girl has returned once again...feeling emo till the very max today...nothing seems to go on the right track for me today..it was supposed to be a fun day for me,yet it turned into a sour one...it was only the morning part before i went to work that made me laughed like a mad girl...

while waiting for the cinema shuttle to open, i met up with my Godbro, Calvin...really damn long din see him d.. getting so muscular...but he is too small size d...he showed me his trained six packs abdomen but i hardly see any six packs...lolx...n he changed quite alot physically...i think the last time i saw him was in Jan...superb long...meeting him will definitely tickle my heart...he has lotsa of craps n jokes to spill out...n he has lots of fun stories to share with oso...so v had bout 20 minutes of chit chat and then Im off to my work..so sad as the time passed so fast...still want to hear all his stories especially all his clubbing experiences...my this bro recently has turned into a clubber fan man...really salute him...nevertheless when i was working, he did turn up in front of me again n v had another 10 mins of chatting..lol...in short, im really happy to see you bro..hope v can catch up soon again...=)

supposingly, me, jacky n vijay will be watching Astro Boy at 5pm..so i bought the tickets for that showing time...i tot i would be able to finish work at 4pm..the latest by 5pm...but it did not turn out that way...6pm oli im allowed to close counter...so i wasted RM12 just because of that...haihz..n that's the moment when my emo-ness came...to make things worse was that I short of money again...duno why tis time back to work at TGV, i kept donating money to the safe each time i work at Candy Bar...three times at candy bar, three times oso i short...i really duno why...last time i did not have such problems..but tis time, the candy bar seems to curse me...din short stock but short money or vice versa...i kept thinking how i can lose the stock or how come the money is not in the right balance...but just simply couldnt find the answer...i know sum ppl might think that im earning black money but i can raise my three fingers up and swear that i did not do so...i begin to have PHOBIA towards candy bar d...haihz...my mood was partially struck down by this...i hate CANDY BAR!!!!!

cant watch movie and have to donate money!!!!!emo-ness all came to me...tears almost rolled down my cheeks while i was waiting for Vijay and Jacky to meet me...luckily they were just welled up in my eyes...i know these were just very little things but i really do not know why i suddenly became like this...i myself oso getting so tired with myself...abit abit cry...so useless me...on top of that, my leg pained me due to the new shoes...both of my legs were having blisters at the sides...felt so hard to walk till i walked like orang tempang...end up, kena ejek by the two ppl...the blisters that were created last week still not recovered yet, so it did bleed a little 2day coz i wore the same shoes again...even a side stall salesperson in pyramid who saw me, pitied me and being so kind offering me a plaster but i declined it...

my emoness reached the climax when we were having Mcd for dinner...at 1st, i dont feel like eating meat 2day but Im controlled by the devil d..im so sorry to Kuan Yin that i have broken my promise...im really sorry...then got one thing happened...he die die oso dunwant to tell me the answer...reason being he has forgotten it...i have been bugging him to tell me since last time but he refused...now he told me that he has forgotten...of course i did not give up...i kept bugging him from pyramid till reached his house...i realy want to know the answers..perhaps, i have been telling white lies to myself all this while...perhaps, im not satisfied with it...or perhaps...i oso duno...he's making me hanging halfway that i felt so suffocated...conveying all the pyschology theory n so on to me...why on earth do i need to noe that when what i want from you is just such a simple request...i really yearn for the answer...can u please be a kind person n tell me???you always said it's for my own good...but that's from your point of view and not mine...feeling so pain deep down in my heart...not physically but mentally...hate you!!!

till now, im still feeling so emo..duno what to do...EEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

dOn't waNt anY chAnge

it's the 18th of the month again...exactly four months have passed...nevertheless, i realised how much i miss him still...suddenly, i missed the ppl deep down in my heart...my heart is being so not obedient...i really nothing, feels nothing bout it ady...my life have become very peaceful and calm but something happened today that proved to me that his position in my heart still remains...and there comes the emotional girl again...how i wished you never send me that msg...how i wish you never tell me those nunsense...i dont und why ppl tend to think the other way round...i oli take u as my kor kor all this while and i never do or giving u any hints that i have feelings to you..you ady noe very clear who is in my heart...you noe that it is impossible that i will accept anyone though i know the fact very clear that me n him will never be together...yet why do u want to say that to make me think of the ppl more....im really trying my best to forget him...but u made me double confirm that truth is, i still very very love him...now i und that if a guy treated a girl so good, it means they are having some intention behind and that's what make me feel so sick bout them...girls and guys are really so hard to remain as friends...i wished u could just keep it to yourself and dont tell me anything...u made me think of him more today...u made me assured myself that my heart still has him...u noe that i dont want to step into this kind of matter anymore...i just want to be have a SINGLE but UNAVAILABLE status...yet, u still told me some nunsense...u made me dont know how to face u and reply all your msg-es...so, if i have hurt you, i really cant do anything...u want to say im being stubborn or watever i dont care coz you know what my answer will be no matter what...n i really dunoe how to tok to u d...i know u might not read this post..if u read it, den hope u can und...i really dont wish to hurt anyone..now im getting a phobia in going out with guys...i can talk and go out with you like usual as a friend but please dont think more than that...my heart cant fit anyone d now but one...really do hope u can und...otherwise, all of us will be very awkward...
right now, my heart cries...i really very very miss him...i miss those days before v started..i miss the moments that we were together...those were my true happiness for the year after a bad incident that took place in January...well, i will not do anything that harm myself...all that is happening now is that he is still conquering my heart and i will leave it in...i will live my life to the fullest...enjoying my holidays like what Im doing currently by working, going out with friends, hanging out with my relatives..it is a good fun...my life now turns into a very peaceful one and i dont wish to have any change anymore for now...i dont know what will happen in the future but thats what i want for now...:)

Thursday, November 12, 2009

nigHtmarEs

the clock now is showing 3.34 am...is AM...yet, what am i doing at this hour???is not that i do not want to sleep...my regular disturber or to be more precise is my daily disturber...the NIGHTMARES...i really cant stand YOU...YOU make me have insufficient and lack of quality of sleep...every night, i have to wake up in the middle of the night...none of the days that i could sleep from the moment i close my eyes till the morning no matter how tired I am...why am i being disturbed by the dreams so much...i really hate YOU...YOU make my night a miserable one...YOU make me cant have a good sleep...

can anyone teach me how to get rid those scary dreams...every night when i am awaked by the nightmares, i feels scared, nervous and all sorts of uneasy feelings...i really do not know what to do...wish to find someone to disturb but do not know who to turn to...if it was last time, i definitely would not have problem in sleeping back after the terrible dreams...there was one of my very good friend who will always be there for me whenever i had nightmares...all the msg-es and calls had helped to ease me down...but since one incident happened, both of us were no longer in contact and hence, I no longer find him...n nowadays i have to be independent to face those dreams alone...cause i dun wish to disturb others and give wrong indication to anyone who wish to help me...i keep wondering why do i have nightmares...n those were really scary...some even make me actually cry...i could feel the tears in my eyes when i woke up...weird aint??i felt that too...but how can i overcome that???

i know all this while i have been having nightmares...but im getting tired of them...my nights simply get spoiled by them...what are the dreams that kept appearing in my head??some involved deaths, some involved violence, n others i forgotten d...i really wana to be like others to sleep from the time im on the bed till the morning...HELP!!!!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

~______________~

it's always a question mark in my mind...why do ppl can be so cruel??when a person loves you, he or she can love you with all his or her heart and soul...but when a person hates you, he or she can hate you to the bone...sometimes i wonder, a couple after break up cant be friend again??must the ppl do till as if he did not know the other person???do you know how hurtful it is when u do like tis to me??

i thought i could ignore your appearance...i thought i can take u as invisible one...i thought i'm strong enough to take as if nothing happened before...i thought i can be tough when i see you...i thought i can be happy since a few months have passed...i thought im cured since i have not been sad for a month plus d...i thought i will be fine for all the things that took place now...but all my thoughts were on the reverse side...they were all conflicting with my heart...my heart has really deeply failed me...truth is, my heart isnt as strong as i thought of...it bleeds so easily...it cries so easily...it screams so easily...it breaks so easily...my heart is really a fragile one...

initially, i was really fine when i saw you...really really nothing that make me sad over you anymore...but i duno why when i saw you on the 5th day of my working day, my heart seemed to be troubled so much...i duno why we two are just like strangers who do not know each other...i duno why i cant even utter a word of 'Hello' to you...i know you dont wish to talk to me..i know you dun wish to see me...perhaps these were the reasons that i did not have the courage to talk to you other than the work stuff...even you did not say a single word too...you were so quiet when i was left alone with you...i think both of us were trying to take each other invisible...well, you have succeeded but i have failed...i really felt hurt by your act...i felt hurt not because of the broke up...i felt hurt because you were so cruel...i felt hurt because u treated me totally like a stranger...i know ignorance is a normal thing after break up..but i seriously hate that kind of feeling...i've seriously been thinking cant a break-up couple be friends again??isit necessary to be a stranger??i never thought of wanting to be together with you again...that's for sure...i just hope i can be friend with you again cause the feeling of being ignored is really not a pleasant thing to experience...i really wonder when only can we talk like last time again...isit possible or isit impossible???i supposed the latter will prevail...

Thursday, November 5, 2009

tiRed

im freaking tired today...it was my first day back working in TGV since duno how many months ago...n my performance has seriously deterioriated...i have forgotten all the Combos sets, the menu n so on...got so nervous when dealing with the money and stocks..haihz..eventually, i short of RM3 due to the loss of one Large CUp of Coke..wonder how i can lose it...i got so down over it and i kept complaining it to Jacky...lolx..pity him i know...and it's only RM 3 i know but it matters alot to me as I don't wish to have a scratch on my record...nvm...i shall gambateh again...lolx...
there was this particular thing that i would like to comment which was the new inventory system implemented there...the stock system was in total mess i could say...perhaps not from the management point of view, but it was a real mess from the staffs' views....how on earth can they add stocks when the existing stocks at each booth are still not clearing off??adding on, the space of each booth is just so little..how to fit all those stocks...isn't it easier for the crews to lose stocks...i knew mgt ppl will say this is the staffs' efficiency problem...yea, i admit this is related to efficiency but if too much,will only dilute the efficiency...speechless...hopefully, 2mrw im working at ticket box will be a fluent process for me...dont wish to short of money anymore...haihz...
after working, i went out with Jacky again...he brought me to see one demonstration on cosmetics products...i was so shocked to see the demo...girls, if u all are always using nail polish ranging from non-branded to well branded, i would advise to stop doing so...as they are bringing harm to your health rather than beauty...you might look very pretty with those colours painted on you but beware, danger is coming to you...dont believe??get a polistrene and paint any of the nail polish that you have on it...you will be surprised to see the result...no point for me to say much here...try the experiment yourself n feel it...hhahahaz...
well, actually i have much more to blog here but it's time for me to oi oi d...really damn exhausted...plus, 2mrw have to wake up early for work...maybe i will continue my blogging session 2mrw...=)
GOD, please bless me dont short of money anymore 2mrw...really dont wana spoil the record...lolx...
nitex, people....sweet dreams

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

))(())(())(())(())(())

the connection is getting very sucks lately...it made me cant online the whole day yesterday..as the saying goes-----> no Internet= Boredom, Lifeless...the only thing that accompanied me yesterday was the HongKong dramas...in three days time, i have finished watching 'In the Chamber Of Bliss'..and currently going after 'You're Hired'...what a drama queen...lolx...though i feel very bored, i do not feel like going out at all...perhaps i have been very outgoing since my final exam ended last Friday...the feeling of staying in the room enjoying those dramas, sleep, listening to songs were fantastic...it has been a very long time since i last enjoyed this feeling whereby i dont have to think bout completing assignments, doing revision or anything to do with studies...the feeling without studies were really great...but I think i will only enjoy it for awhile...if this lasts for a long time, i will find my life damn meaningless...

yesterday, i got to noe sumthing which i felt the act was extremely childish...the world is really full of backstabbing, jealousy and immature-ness...sometimes i really wonder, if a guy is very close with a girl, does that mean anything??if a guy called a girl for chit-chats once awhile, does that mean both of them are having something??if a guy is giving a good comment bout the girl, does that mean he is giving special treatment to the girl??why dont the people look at the bigger picture of it???why must they narrow their thinkings like the older generations do??for GOD sake, nowadays if a guy chit-chatted or went out 2geta with girl, it doesnt mean anything,k until something really happens between them...but before that, i dont see the point of spreading the rumours...n even if you do, you have to judge what is the situation,k...whatever you said might harm one person's good name and affect their commitments..the person might lose trust of others as ppl will thought he or she is acting unfairly ...the fake rumours do kill people at times...im not saying you dont have the right to say anything, but again, please look at whether it will harm the person's name n most importantly will it affect whatever serious or formal things he or she is doing....a rumour might cause him to stay away from doing things that he has been doing all the while.. u can choose to say anything you like, but to the appropriate person and situations...remember whatever you said may cost a person's future sometimes...i really feel so sorry to the person affected...dont worry, sooner or later, the people will noe he or she is wrong in spreading the rumours...i believe you are not that kind of person as the rumour said..=)

Sunday, November 1, 2009

after-exam---pArt tWo

shall now commence on the updates for yesterday, 31Oct 2009...it was a hectic, tired, exhausted day, yet it was an enjoyable outing...am reflecting back that i have been in SUnway Pyramid Shopping Mall from the time the shops were opened till they were closed..it means that i have stayed in that mall for approximately 10 or 11hours plus...great leh...i also duno what i have done there...hhahahaz...

well, the main reason I was there was to celebrate my camwhore partner, Hooi CHin's burfday...her burfday was the easiest to remember coz it's a Halloween Day...but i supposed mine will be much more easier to remember...hahahhaz..coz it falls on the 1st day of CNY every year..damn lucky right??i was really good at predicting the timing to be born into the world...muahhahahaz...

my first outing started at about 10 plus in the morning...Thomas fetched Eunice n me first before proceeding to RT Pastry to buy cake...wow, the cakes there were really making me addicted..how nice if i could taste them eriday...plus, i love the decorations..superb appealing...lolx...knowing that Chin loves to eat cheese, so v chose a Marble Cheesecake...too bad, i dont like cheese, so i did not try it...Chin always says me that Im the weirdest person on earth...whatever ppl like, i will dislike...hahhaz..it's good wert...if everyone likes that ting n I also like it, then this world ma no more unique lorr...lolx...i love uniques things u noe...hehehs..

all of us met at the Popular bookstore and we nearly scared the Guard off...i think he must be wondering y a group of ppl keep conquering the entrance when they are not buying aniting...poor guy...i wanted to buy a storybook there but not a single book that attracted me...perhaps, i should spend more time to shop for storybooks there...really very very long disconnected from story world...=)...


Suk Wein then wanted to buy rubber band...so me n her went to Asian Avenue to look for one whilst the others went to TOny Romas to dine in...actually we were done in 10 minutes, but Wein wanted to buy cosmetic stuff for Chin..hence, we approached Elianto...i thought we will be there for awhile only, but v stayed at the booth for almost one hour...Wein kept choosing the eye shadows...6 colours only, but took one hour..really salute her...she kept asking me which colour combination was nice...but Wein, Chin's taste n my taste are like one north n one south de...totally opposite direction..she loves mature stuff but i prefer cute cute things de...so she likes the colours definitely wont suit my taste..moreover, i dont make up oso..how on earth i noe which colour goes with which colour lorr....thus, the best way was to consult the salesgirls...clever right me??ask her to seek for their advice rather than wasting time asking me...coz I will always give inconclusive answers...hahhahaz...Im not complaining about one hour stay there...i dont mind waiting for people..i can stay with friends at one particular place for hours....but, as a customer, I think v need some efficiency lorrr...hahhahaz..


Wein n me were quite surprised that nobody called to rush us yet...lolx..but a moment later, i received Chin's call...she commented something on Wein's rubber band that i burst into laughter on the phone, but i forgotten what was that d...hhehehez...finally, v reached Tony Romas...well, it was my first time in there...i noe Vijay gonna say me d wan if i told him I have never been to TOny Romas before...last time he asked what have i been doing in Subang for the past two years...tis food n that food oso never try b4...not i dunwan try lorr, is because i dont really like that kind of food ma..too high class for me d la..hahhaz...i might sound wanted to try or eat sth very much, but i dont really mean it...for instance, I love Ferrero Rocher chocolates...the weird thing is I don't eat them much..the max oli 2 to three biji nia...noe what, a few of my friends have given me boxes of chocolates of that brand, but i hardly eat any of them...my siblings helped me to clear them...n few months back, I bought two big boxes of Ferrero Chocolates when i were in Pulau Tioman...tot of leaving one box in Subang for me to eat, but end up, i brought back to my home n my dear siblings did the clearance..i did not swallow any of them at all....lolx...i also duno why im so weird..love the chocolates damn much, but i dont eat them...super swt la me...
this is my food for the day!!!!so big portion....cant even finish it...lolx
someone was stealing my food!!!!hhahahhaz

oooppsss...terbalik the pic...forgotten to adjust it...so nice background,aint??..


we spent almost four hours at Tony Romas..crapping, toking, playing n bla bla..hahhahaz..next, it was time for shopping!!!!we went to Kitschen...i saw many nice clothes there but weird enough that i did not have the mood to try any of them...perhaps, i shop till sien d...tis year, almost every month i bought new clothes...mummy n my youngest sis always teased me d...they said i always have unlimited clothes, accessories, shoes to buy one..next time, all my salary will be invested for those things...muahahahhz...i can see my investment in the future d...lolx...right now, i wana work n save money..i want to buy one thing which will surprise many of my friends...hahhaz..the particular device is a CAMERA...shock aint??a girl who used to hate taking pictures now yearning for a camera...lolx..thanz to my camwhore partner lorr...she was the one who motivated me to take pics...n now i kinda regret for not taking last time...my sch and teenage life memories seemed to be little...oli can be refreshed through my mind...=)..thanz lotz Chin in boosting my confidence in photo shooting...love you dear...:)


after Chin's burfday celebration, I met up with Jacky...both of us did not know what to do there for the remaining 4hours...so we walked around, den sat down for chit-chat...den too bored d, till v went to watch Poker King...wanted to watch Jennifer's Body but the seats were full...no other choice but that movie...anyway, v just wana pass time till 9.30pm as he wanted to bring me to Kota Damansara...initially, i did not know what was the purpose...he eritime conned me to somewhere wan...ask him where he is going, he said gotla...swt...but i do believe he will not do sth that harm me wan...through him, i knew many business opportunities...i und that v nid to embrace those opportunities and not vice versa...but at tis moment, i dont have such commitments...involving in those businesses, my concentration will be distracted very easily...i dont wana my studies to be affected due to that coz i just left one n a half year to go before i graduate...so sorry, Jacky...


my outing for the day ended at 2sth in the morning...reached room oso 3sth d...extremely tired...but i still spent the time blogging whilst watching 'In the chamber of Bliss'...in three days time, i have watched 16 episodes...greatleh...hhahhaz..so multi-task...=)